dancedinosaur's Journal [entries|friends|calendar] dancedinosaur ONE.TWO.THREE [ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ] [ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

hmm [Thursday August 25th, 2005 7:38pm] [ mood | good ] [ music | Kanye Westtt ] so, yeah. me and allec are getting alot closer. it's really awesome. and then like yesterday i had a really bad day. but at the end of the day, i just realized i needed to fucking chill out. like i've been way too scared that he dosn't like me back. but i just know now that he does. and i mean.. it won't really be the end of the world if he dosn't. he's an awesome kid, and i'd love to keep him as a friend if anything didn't work out. sooo two days ago, he came over alll day. sdjwij/iajdo3i. no details. becauseee... i'm keeping them between us. ;D so he might be coming over again tomorrow or saturday.. i havn't asked yet, so i'm not sure. but i'm just so much happier with him here. i havn't played WoW in a while, i think i will be tonight or something. i've been talking to allec so much online, that it cut into wow time, he needs to buy it sooo i can teach him, even though i'm like only lvl 10 hahha. oh well. he will beat me sometime soon. and yeah, i've been playing sc with him. i don't really like it. i have to think too much. but i did beat him more than he beat me so that was good, lmao. i'm scared i won't know anyone in any of my classes. but idk. right now i know of 3 people in two of my classes. and i only like 2. but oh well. i have cwi, bio, eng, cr. cooking, geo, french3. mmmhm. so i'm really fucking happy today. like i have found what is wrong with me. i worry way too fucking much. ever since i met allec i've been changing. it was slow at first. but now, like i'm so fucking happy all the time. it's great. haha. and uhhm, nick something somebody i don't even KNOW likes me. and is like sending me emails like "heyyyy baby, i'd ask you out, but vinnie'd be mad" which kind of makes me nervous. because i hope vinnie dosn't like me again.. but idk. it happens when i don't expect it alot. like when i think we are getting over that, he asks me out. and i have to say no. idk. i really hope me and allec get to be ccccccllloooserrr. but idk. i don't know if he wants to do anything that requires alot of transportation yahhh know. i'm excited for if mollie is really coming. i want to do something special for her. and then me and kayla. ahaha. i rly don't care about her anymore. i don't careabout her life. i'm done with her. i'm fine without her. i really have alot better friends that treat me alot better. so after she spilled her soul of how she regrets things, and how she wants a better year, i litterally told her to count me out as a friend. i'm thu rew. READ (1) CMNT

ROFL [Sunday August 21st, 2005 4:08am] [ mood | bouncy ] [ music | Chiodos ] i really think before i met allec. or atleast started talking to him alot, i've been a fucking queer. like my last entry whatever. i just saw the emotion and the song and i laughed out loud. like i did alot of good things lately. and i feel good. i like a boy. and i love him. and yeah. i lost a friend. but it was ok. i mean i guess it was going to come anyway. idrc. and then me and mollie are closer than ever right now. and i finally met up with vinnie this summer. he looks so cute with his new hurr. i can't wait until school starts. the only problem is that it means less time with allec. like i reaaaallly like him. you have no idea. he is the perfect guy for me. we had our first kiss in seattle yesterday. it's really exciting.. it really is rofl. he has the best taste in music.. raiosdjw. and then we talked about periods. great fun rofl. and like really. i'm off the market for a while. i don't care if i don't get him. i still am off the market. lololol market. what am i? a black baby? no i'm white sukka. so we've been talking for about 398 hours strait. on and off phone. and in person. and on computer. this is like WOAH. i have the hiccups now. ROFL. i love myself. i love allec. rofl. i never ever ever ever ever thought he would like me back :D READ (0) CMNT

[Saturday July 9th, 2005 11:06pm] [ mood | gloomy ] [ music | smashed into pieces ] So, I've been going to summer school. I thought it was going to be gay.. but besides the 6 hours everyday, I met some really awesome people. Ali and Brett. Ahhh i love them. But yeah. I started babysitting for Tafra, and she lives in bonney lake. I didn't think like that much into it.. but once I was on the highway I felt like crying.. like watching everything on the side of the road.. what I used to watch every night going to Jimmys house... Then like going into Bonney Lake, and passing his house. My stomach was in a knot. I realize I fucking love Jimmy. And.. I can't talk to him. Like it is so over between us. It is just like wow.. I don't know what to do.. Plus the fact I'm still going out with Jared. I don't know what to say to him either. Like.. gah. I feel like such a terrible girlfriend. I wasn't even over Jimmy to begin with. I feel like such a fucking idiot. I keep begging to babysit her kids so I can go there. I keep listening to songs he played when I was over. silverstein, saves the day, as i lay dying, like.. every good band ever. He listened to, and he showed me. and god. i miss him. i remember I was too scared to talk to him, and then when I called, he told me he moved to boston.. I was too late. I fucking suck at life. seriously. I should have stayed with him. no matter what. He was perfect for me. GOD I HATE MYSELF. i lost it. i lost him. I won't get anyone as good as him, I realize this fucking now god it sucks. And like what i'm doing to Jared.. he dosn't deserve this. uhgggggggggggggggggggggggggggg le sigh. it's time to like.. stay single for a year or so.. maybe. I need to stay away from boys. all of them. I can't do it to myself anymore. READ (0) CMNT

god fucking damnit. [Friday July 1st, 2005 9:20pm] [ mood | drained ] [ music | The Klaw ] I really don't care anymore. I would like to die. I really would. but I am too lazy to kill myself. and that would mean I'm just quitting on life. stupid people in my life. I hate them. I hate you I hate you. I'm going to do it. Only Kayla knows what I mean by this. READ (2) CMNT

Ugh [Tuesday June 28th, 2005 3:03am] [ mood | excited ] [ music | Bury the Tooth of the Hydra and a Skeleton Army Will Arise ] I didn't do anything with mollie.. I don't even think she wants to do anything really.. there are some problems with me that i don't want to write out, because I simply don't know who is reading this, so if you want to know just aim me beepdootx and i will tell you. I'm going to a park today.. and playing tag. Oh mannn it's going to be fun. oh well. and the song is Sincerly Yours, Jonathan Harker by Schoolyard Heroes. p.s. I'm not mad at kayla, I just don't want people knowing about my music. ok. READ (0) CMNT

hey bitches [Thursday June 23rd, 2005 8:16pm] [ mood | hot ] [ music | pollen - mirah ] i made this layout. all by myself. who is hXc i am hXc. s'right. uhhhhhh so today. pool party at my house. with no one i know. except emily.. who is a dear. and then i had kayla come over and we ruined their party by turning it to the end every time they switched it back to negro music. i mean come one. no one there was black. ahg. but yeah so kayla got burnt. and i was mad because i stayed pale. but then later i itched my shoulder and found out that i infact got burnt. so i am lobster brandy once again. tomorrow. mmmmmmmmm probably nothing. mollie is supposed to be back. saturday. hells kitchen sunday. mollie time. call me cause i want to do something... ]= ]= READ (1) CMNT

what the fuck [Thursday June 23rd, 2005 9:56am] [ mood | horny ] [ music | Oh September-Mirah ft. Ginger ] So yesterday was the last day of school, and today is the first day of summer vacation. i woke up and there were like 3 mosquitos on me. now i look at my arm and i have a billion mosquito bites. ]=. oh well. it just means that it is summer. and yeah. my parents came back today. and i wish my mom wasn't such a FUCKING BITCH. gah. she made me get off the phone because it was late wtf. it is summer you gay ass bitchhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. yeah well uh huh. myspace has been stupid lately. just to let you all know. i have a raging headache. the end. oh yeah. i cut my hair. it makes kayla horny. READ (2) CMNT

LOLOL [Tuesday June 21st, 2005 3:59pm] [ mood | pissed off ] [ music | downtown- tegan and sara ] It's funny to see people try to act. But that black woman ruined Juliet by some ebonics. but besides that. today i got to school late because i talked on the phone until 4 and went to bed at 5 and slept in. then i walked around school 3rd period because well. i am that pimp. so i can do whatever i want. 4th was boring. the computers were down so we had to play bingo. but in the end me and zack got to play our game of heads up seven up. then jared wasn't there. sixth period we told what we were doing over the break. and i didn't get called on. but hey. this is it. i'm impregnating jessica pan with a lizard technnique. and i am catching fire flies and giving them to a few friends. maybe just one that i have in mind. mollie. and i am going to get a synthesizer. sit on my butt and be on the computer. woah everything with jared was good up until about 3 minutes ago when he critisized my music. that is like the gayest thing to do especially when he listens to horrible music and i don't say anything about it. wow what a fucking asshole. i take my music seriously. it is one of my main reasons of why i like life. maybe you think i'm overreacting, but no i am not. this pisses me off more than girls that run around yelling simple plan lyrics. READ (1) CMNT

so pretty much [Monday June 20th, 2005 3:37pm] [ mood | worried ] [ music | So Jealous ] i love natalie. and i love Jared. But I am so afraid that he dosn't like me back, that i am probably pushing him away. I get sooooo fucking worked up because i start thinking that no one likes me. and i have no friends. and i just feel like he hassss to like someone else because nothing good happens to me. but then I think these things... which i know arn't true[hopefully], and then i will start believing them. as if they really are happening. i do it so much. i ruin everything i have ever had. and god jared is such a good guy. there are some things i don't agree with, but gah. i love him so much it hurts. =/ yeah. soooo yeah. i should stop acting like a baby. and start learning to trust that he does like me? READ (3) CMNT

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